Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2011

Cold is a Relative Thing……

65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat, people in Iowa plant gardens. 60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Iowa sunbathe.50 above zero: Italian and English cars won’t start. People in Iowa drive with the windows down.40 above zero: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats. People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt. 35 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold. 20 above zero: People in Miami all die. Iowans close the windows. Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Iowa get out their winter coats. 10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole, Iowan’s get upset because they can’t start the snow-mobile.40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Iowa start saying….…